Tags: fail


Still reading the dregs of Amazon

So you all know I read terrible, terrible books on my Kindle during my commute.

Today I read one where the author kept trying to say that the main character did pilates. Notice I said try. What the author really said was that the main characters did palates. The first time I thought it was a typo. By the 2nd time I realized it wasn't. The author substituted palates every time she meant pilates. I can only assume it was because her spellchecker didn't recognize the words pilates (much like the spellchecker in Firefox doesn't like when I use it here).

If you can't afford an editor, beta readers are the next best thing. Yes, this does make me a hypocrite. No, I don't care, because I'm not asking people to pay money for my story.


Today is full of FAIL.

First I went to Home Depot to try and get the plywood for the headboard project. Home Depot had really crappy plywood. Most of it was bent or warped. Which would have been fine had I planned on screwed the plywood into a wall or onto wooden studs. It does not work for making a headboard, which involves neither of those things. I need a completely flat piece. Besides, a lot of their plywood was splintering badly. I was not impressed. So off to Lowe's.

Which did have much better quality plywood that was actually flat. miome and I actually got a piece down and headed to the cutting station. Most home improvement stores will do basic cuts of the wood for free. Since we drive a Prius, a 4' x 8' piece of plywood was not going to fit. I needed it cut down to a 3'8" x 5' piece. I figured the rest could be used to make the before mentioned fabric cornice.

The problem was that there was their saw was broken. They couldn't do any cutting. Since I didn't want to make it look like we were trying to give the Prius wings by tying it to the top, that was a no go.

Two hours wasted. And I still don't have the plywood I need!

Win! And then FAIL!

I just completed two scenes in a Teen Wolf fanfic. I have been trying to get a scene to anything completed for months, and I finally did it.

And if I posted them, no one would understand because they are the middle scenes of an AU.

I obviously did not think this through before I started writing. -_-

House fail

Today was the last weekend before we were going to move into the house. We intended to get several things done, including painting a bedroom for the bedroom furniture to go into. Couple of problems:

1) Guy at the pain store mis-mixed the paint. We only realize this after we had put it up on the walls and kept going "This green seems more blue than it should be." It was. We have a sample can and compared it to what we had on the walls. Definitely bluer. The good thing is we like this color. The bad thing is it no longer goes with the color we were going to put up under the chair rail. So until we can get another color, plans for having that bedroom painted are on hold. At least we didn't buy a gallon on it: just two quarts.I didn't save much money, but this way I don't have a gallon paint can of useless paint sitting around.

2) Remember the toilet that wouldn't flush? We did everything we knew and all the advise on the internet. Still wasn't working. I think I know why. Today we did a load of laundry and the drain in the laundry room backed up with nasty smelling water. This also happened in the tub and toilet. Guess what? The sewer line between the house and the street is backed up. Plumber is coming out Monday because I was not paying an extra $170 for a Sunday call when I have a perfectly good apartment with perfectly good plumbing I can still use. Until tomorrow, we can't use water at the house. There go those plans as well.

We decided to head back to the apartment and pack, which is not a bad plan all things considered. Just... what a mess.


Right before my business trip, our kitchen sink backed up. Badly. Like we ran the garbage disposal and nothing happened. It still didn't drain and in fact, we could barely hear the disposal. It sounded like the disposal was not turning. miome put in a call to maintenance.

While I was on my trip, I called Miome to let her know I had made it to my destination. She let me know that maintenance had been by and had fixed the sink. Then she started laughing. The problem? One of us had plugged the sink at some point, forgotten to unplug it, forgotten it was even plugged, and then couldn't figure out why it wasn't draining. The reason the garbage disposal sounded funny was because it was muffled by the plug.

Maintenance guy said it was the easiest fix he'd ever done. Just remove the plug.


LOL my ancestors

While doing some digging on my ancestors using Google Books, I came across a record of a court case that cracked me up. The background is as follows: Mr. and Mrs. Ancestor decided to trade some of Mrs. Ancestor's land for a farm that was rented to a tenant. Landlord agreed, but tenant had already planted some wheat on the farm. So it was agreed that tenant would harvest the wheat when it came time and give 1/4 to the Ancestors. In return, tenant would leave the land immediately instead of when the lease was up and the Ancestors would get the farm. Mr. Ancestor signed the contract agreeing to this. All is good, right?


Mrs. Ancestor decides that she wants all the wheat. But... it belongs to tenant. She decides to file a suit, claiming the contract is null because it was her husband who signed it despite the fact that the deal was to trade some of her land for the farm. Therefore, the contract was void and since the wheat was on her new land, it was hers. The judge's argument basically boiled down to this:

Judge: So you are saying the contract isn't in effect?
Mrs. Ancestor: That's correct.
Judge: Then you don't own the farm the wheat is on.
Mrs. Ancestor: No, I own the farm.
Judge: Okay, then you don't own the wheat because that was part of the trade to get the farm.
Mrs. Ancestor: No, I own that as well.
Judge: ...
Mrs. Ancestor: What?
Judge: You do realize you don't get to pick and choose what parts of the contract you abide by. Either it's in effect or not. You can't profit by the contract on one hand and say it's void on the other. Give tenant his wheat.
Mrs. Ancestor: D:

Strangely enough, not to long after that (< 3yrs) I find evidence that Mr. and Mrs. Ancestor moved to another city. I guess they learned rather quickly that it doesn't pay to piss off your neighbors.
no thinking

Where do you live?

My coworkers and I were discussing this the other day. People ask where I live and I say Alexandria, VA. "Oh? Where's that?" It's near Washington, DC. "You live in Washington, DC!" Er... no.

This happens to a lot of people. I know everyone in the state of New York gets this. You say you live in New York and people assume that you live in New York City. Nevermind that there is a whole state with that name too. If you live in Massachusetts, you must be near Boston. Nevada means you're just a few minutes from Las Vegas. It just seems that most people assume that if you are "near" a major city you must live there. I could say I live in a suburb of DC, but I have a feeling that would just get me odd looks. I don't think people outside Virginia or Maryland realize DC actually has suburbs.

After complaining about this phenomenon, one of my coworkers was talking about how his sister was coming down from Maryland to stay with him that weekend. One of the people passing our desks popped their head over the wall.

"Maryland. She lives in Baltimore, right?"

Not even close. I admit it, though. I laughed.