I like afternoon teas. I like afternoon teas so much that my wife and I regularly go to an Afternoon Tea in different cities whenever we travel. I'm also curious about old menu/recipe books (like from the late 1800's to early 1900's). Sometimes I find absolute gems like the old church cookbook from the 1910's where every desert recipes contained copious amounts of alcohol. I mean copious. Brandy, sherry, and bourbon were measured in cups.
I think I have found another gem.
I present to you, from the early 1900's, a book full of "Every Day Menus" which includes a menu and place settings for what they are calling a "Russian Tea." The very first thing it says on the menu? Vodka. Obviously you are supposed to put a decanter of vodka on the table and pour everyone a glass of it (oh sorry, the gentleman get a glass of vodka while the ladies get a cup of vodka). No silverware. Everything is eaten with your fingers.
This sounds like it would be an amazingly fun tea.
Book ends are really designed for people who do not fully fill every shelf in their house with books.
I am not one of those people.
So you all know I read terrible, terrible books on my Kindle during my commute.
Today I read one where the author kept trying to say that the main character did pilates. Notice I said try. What the author really said was that the main characters did palates. The first time I thought it was a typo. By the 2nd time I realized it wasn't. The author substituted palates every time she meant pilates. I can only assume it was because her spellchecker didn't recognize the words pilates (much like the spellchecker in Firefox doesn't like when I use it here).
If you can't afford an editor, beta readers are the next best thing. Yes, this does make me a hypocrite. No, I don't care, because I'm not asking people to pay money for my story.
I mentioned going through my Kindle and pulling funniest of the typos and comments I've made on it. People seemed to be really into that, so I'll do that this weekend.
Until then, I have got to share this gem.I'm reading a story (whose author and title will remain unnamed) with werewolves in it.
A shock, I know.
I didn't actually pay for this book. I checked it out for free because I'm an Amazon Prime member. You can only check out one book per month. When trying to decide what book to check out, I look at both the summary and the reviews. There was a grammar mistake in the summary (which I should know better than to ignore, because if the author can't be bother to spell/grammar check the 3-4 paragraphs that make up the summary, they sure as hell are not going to spell check their entire novel). However, there were 22 reviews as well and the average stars was around 4.5. So I figured I'd given it a try.
Maybe this author had 22 friends or something. Because this book? Sucks. Like a damn Hoover vacuum. How bad does this book suck? There is a werewolf in the book named Heath. Twice now, the author has typo-ed his name and called him "Health.' Yes folks, we have Health the werewolf.
I am less than 15% through it according to my Kindle, this guy is not even a main character, and the author cannot spell his name right. We won't even talk about some of the other problems (15 characters introduced in the first 10 pages, 3 clauses put together with no subject to make a sentence, jumping around in time/space with no explanation or context, etc.). Because it can all be boiled down to "Health the Werewolf."
I somehow don't think I'll be finishing this one.
I'm do glad all my comments and selections on my Kindle can't be seen by others, because the only thing I use these two features for is to highlight all the misspellings, grammatical errors, and general mistakes the authors make in their stories.
Then I make snarky comments about them just to add to the fun.
So very glad no one can see it but me. Though I'm tempted to go through, find some of the more hilarious typos I've marked, and share them with everyone. Does this seem like a good idea? Y/N? Maybe if I'm careful not to mention the author/title of the book no one will come flame me about it.
I do not need any more "My story isn't confusing. You just don't understand it!" type emails.
It's really disturbing to download a book off Amazon expecting a sci-fi romance, only to get five pages into it and realize it was Final Fantasy 7 fanfic with the numbers filed off. Not a good one either.
Hello, one of the character's names is Airith. You are not being subtle here.
At least I didn't pay money for it.