Do you want a retelling of a fairytale with great writing, beautiful description, interesting characters, a tremendous number of references to other fairytales (I kid you not, I counted at least a dozen and then gave up), and brotherly love that zooms right by the brotherly part by the end of the story?

Of course you do.

The Seventh Swan. Watch for the incest.

I should probably put this up on my recs journal, but I'm too lazy right now.

Remember Chalcedony of the Sky Blue Orbs? She left her slipper on the stair all right, and her bra on the bed, and her pantalettes on the lampshade.

And as soon as I read that line, I knew I was going to love An Old-Fashioned Unicorn's Guide to Courtship. It is a very good parody of the traditional fairy-tale princess story. I seriously cannot tell you how many times I cracked up laughing. I was afraid that the ending wouldn't live up to the rest of it, but it was sweet and I loved it. Safe for work.

Here be the previous bits

( Silver and Gold, fairytale, threesome eventually, PG-13 )

This has been spellchecked, but not really grammar checked.

Dear fairytale,

Please stop eating my brain. I have work to do! I will write about you (even if it's just a plot outline to keep myself from forgetting) when that work is done. Maybe this afternoon or tomorrow. NOT NOW.

No love,
Tsaiko

PS - BEING A THREESOME WILL NOT MAKE ME WAVER FROM THIS.

PPS - NOT EVEN IF YOU STICK A DRAGON IN THERE.

PPSS - NO SERIOUSLY. STOP TRYING TO TEMPT ME.

( The Queen is crazy-cakes, but you already knew that. )

Several questions have been asked about the fairytale. Here are the hints so far.

- It's not a Grimm fairytale

- It's not exactly well known, though obviously I at least had heard of it, and you can find reference to it in a lot of places.

- The Queen's name is important.

- Someone asked if this was an "English" fairytale. That's a hard question to answer. Keep in mind that the fairytales collected by the Grimms' are actually German fairytales, some with French influence, for all that most people would think of them as "English." By the same token, East of the Sun, West of the Moon is originally from Norway though a lot of people would think of it as an "English" fairytale as well. I did some searching on the fairytale I'm basing it on, and the person who first collected the tale specifically states that he decided to only search out people for whom English was not their native language and then promptly broke that rule because he found those stories less interesting. Sigh. In this case, I'm going to say that the only version of this fairytale that I've found has been in English and leave it at that.

EDIT: - The fairytale in question is not bigger than a breadbox. XD

EDIT2: Answer guessed. karinaspellman got it right. ^^

I have to admit, I had a lot of fun with people trying to guess it.

Since no one could figure out what fairytale this was from the first bit, here's the second.

( I'm tempted to give a prize to the person that figures this out. ^^ )

EDIT: Spelling/grammar mistakes mostly fixed. I hope. ^^;

When I have enough fairytales, I am going to publish through Lulu just so I can have a copy of the book. Even if no one else wants one. Because I just saw a copy of one of my stories formatted for Lulu and it looks awesome. And now I'm all jazzed because I could do this.

Now I just need to work on the stories and not put every single one up for everyone to see...

I'm not going to mention all my plans for this story because I might jinx them. However, I thought you'd all like to know that yes I have started writing again. And it's a fairytale!

EDIT: Also, I should mention that the pairing of the Emperor/Nightingale (m/m) won in the poll. This is perfect for what I have in mind.

( The Swineherd, PG-13 for minor language, fragment )

I got the idea to rewrite Hans Christian Andersen's The Nightingale in my own unique way. I just have two questions. First, who should be the pairing? Second, should I keep the nightingale female since the text is pretty specific in that regard? That's where you people come in.

Please note the gender designations at the end of the options.

Poll #1187852 The Nightingale (or The inspiration bug bit me hard)
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 31

Which pairing should I have if I rewrote The Nightingale?

I can't believe this idea just dropped into my head like that.

Edit: And as soon as I post this, I find a version of the story that has the nightingale as being male. Now I'm even more conflicted. Sigh. The life of a writer is so hard. XD

Dear fairytale,

I finished one of you bastards and I'd like to at least get more than 1 page written on another tonight. Please cooperate. If not, I will be forced to withhold porn.

No love,
Tsaiko

Also I figured I should probably get a Fictionpress account to put my original stuff up on only to discover someone had already taken the nick Tsaiko. I was vaguely disappointed until I decided to type in my own email address and start trying password. Three passwords later I discover I've had a fictionpress account since 2001.

HAHAHAHAHA. Fail.

I should probably put some of my original stuff up there. Hell, I should probably update my website. And while I'm at it, why don't I get to winning that lottery I've always been meaning to win.

Right. Back to wrestling with the story.

It seems like there's a piece missing from the story, but I can't figure out what it is. Maybe some opinions will give me a better idea. Technically finished, but I reserve the right to add a scene later on if I'm still unhappy with it after another read through.

As a side note: I started writing this story after reading maderr's version of Rumpelstiltskin More Precious Than Gold. Her characterization of Rumpelstiltskin was what inspired my characterization of the Piper.

( Pied Piper, PG-13, finished? )

I just stumbled across a Celtic fairy tale with similar themes as Snow White, only it contains a threesome. o_O

When I'm done with the Halloween snail_mail_porn story, I am so writing a retelling of this.

Dear retelling of Snow White:

You are a novel. NOVEL. Don't try to convince me otherwise because we both know you're lying. In case you hadn't noticed, I have a snail_mail_porn story that need to be done by Oct. 15th. I cannot write you AND write that story as well. There's not enough time in the day. So why, why, why did you decide that now you wanted to be written?

I have a love/hate relationship with you now, because for all that you're a bossy bitch, you are also full of the awesome. And the hot.

No love,
Tsaiko