Would someone mind looking over what I have of the next part of the dragon threesome? I've got about half written and I can't tell if the... um... porny bits are porny enough. Note that the part after this is 100% unadulterated porn so this is just the lead up. Just leave an email. First come, first serve.

Sigh... why is it not done already? Then I could post it before I leave on Friday...

My grandfather is in the hospital on a ventilator after having had major surgery this morning.
I didn't get a chance to call him on Father's Day. I was going to do it today.

Today is a truly craptastic Monday.

One week from now, I'll be in Boston.

OH DEAR LORD I'M NOT READY.

Today (a Saturday) I had to get up at the butt crack of dawn to drop miome off at the airport. We had allotted an hour between her getting there and her getting on the plane. Little did we know that the Indiana DOT had decided that this morning was the perfect morning to shut down one of the major highways. Fun, fun. Miome did make her flight, but it was a close thing.

I'm going to miss her for the next several days.

I just talked with one of my fellow students and found out he only put two maps in his final project. Two. And he managed to complete his project. I've already got 5 maps done and I can't complete my project (which others have told me happens in this guy's class a whole lot and he usually doesn't take off for).

PERHAPS I AM OVER ANALYZING FOR THIS PROJECT A BIT.

I have mostly completed everything for my other class with this same professor. I just have one thing left which I will attempt at home. Considering I attempted this once before and didn't get it to work, I don't hold out much hope. He has not posted either final exam for the two classes I have by him (despite the fact that one of them is due on the 15th) and has not given us a way to turn in our assignment today. Nor has he responded to my email. I'm beginning to think he doesn't have access to the internet. I have no idea what this will mean grade wise. Will he just count the mid-term twice? I hope not. I was hoping to do better on the finals.

I'm done with this stuff until tonight. My brain is fried and needs a break.

In other news, I went on a small friending/defriending spree over the last few days. Basically just cleaned out the people who haven't posted in over a year and added a few others that I some how stumbled upon and thought looked interesting. Sometimes when I go on friending sprees I can add as many as 20 people at a time. I think I've only added four people this go around. Either I'm getting pickier or I've already got the most interesting people on my friend's list. XD

This day SUCKS.

In the grand tradition of Tsaiko opening her mouth only long enough to exchange feet, I have managed to piss one of my friends off. This was mostly due to the fact that I hit a nerve and didn't realize I had done so until we both were in an on-line yelling match and she dropped off the channel. And yet, I still didn't get it until someone pointed out I was being unreasonable. Only then did I realize that "Why yes, what I said could have been taken as something other than fooling around."

My life was so much easier before I had real friends. It was cold, it was lonely. I hurt like you wouldn't believe. I still carry the scars on my soul from those times. But my life was very simple. I had one goal: make it through school. In order to do that I needed to interact with others. So I learned how to do so. And somewhere along the way I made friends. Good friends. Friends that I'm still talk to and go out with every once in awhile.

These were not really close friends. Oh, I knew them and they thought they knew me. I showed them what they wanted to see. I hid myself behind a facade becaue I needed them. Deep down people are pack animals. Give them an option, and even the most solitary of people will find others to hang out with. So my friends and I came together to form a group of outcasts, friendship born out of mutual need. But deep down I knew they didn't know me.

Because deep down, I was still the Wolf. Born of cold logic and bitter self-hatred, that was who I was for many years. I wanted to change. I wanted to be different. No one was willing to give me the chance. I was an outcast, lowest in the pack, circling others waiting for a chance to belong. The chance came in the form of my highschool friends. And I began to change.

When I got to college, I found people who were as different inside as I was. Some hurting, some fractured, some lonely, some wanting to belong. Suddenly I went from someone who nobody wanted to hang around with, to the pack leader. Why did these people congregate with each other? Because I was there. I did my best to make sure everyone was welcomed. This was my pack and I would be damned if I would let it become what I had seen in highschool.

Eventually, the group split up and reformed, a hundred a thousand times. Schedules changed. Interests waned. People graduated. New people were invited. Groups go through that and I never tried to stop it from evolving But the core ideal I planted remained. All are welcomed.

Most of all, I changed. The Wolf is still apart of me. He/she still reflects his/her birth. Cold logic and bitter self-hatred but time has tempered the sword's edge. There are other's to balance out the Wolf. The Dragon and the Unicorn. But he/she is not my core anymore. I walked through Hell, and with the help of myself, my friends, and my aspects, I made it.

Yet sometimes all those things aren't enough. Sometimes I mistep, say the wrong thing, step outside the boundaries. And when I do the Wolf is there circling, ready to rake his/her claws against my soul. Ready to send me into the small, shivering heap I once was. The Wolf is darkness and hate, logic and a betrayal of self. But he/she is also a part of me, and I will never forget that.

So if I hurt, and don't want to talk about it, please understand that it's just the way I am.